#I watched it on TV and it was so beautiful actually
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okay okay okay thoughts/excited ramblings about the wicked movie under the cut bc i've seen it and now i'm insane about it again
let's be real it's kinda hard to fumble the opening number of a musical especially when that opening number is no one mourns the wicked and yet i was still absolutely blown away it was SO GOOD
the lil munchkins running, the singing in the streets, the posters of the witch (side note all the artwork was insanely good and just added so much to the style of oz i feel like) it was all so awesome
NOMTW becomes so sinister and they nailed it
obligatory emotional babbling about glinda standing alone in the crowd as everyone sings 'the wicked's lives are lonely'
before i left for the theater i was like 'take your bets on if i'll cry' and my roommate and i agreed that yeah obviously i would. but what i didn't expect is for ariana's sad face to knock me out in five minutes flat. i was done for
the effigy. holy shit. and handing the torch to glinda. i want to go see the whole thing again just so i can rewatch that scene. my heart still hurts
(also nanny! sort of not really. but i liked the childhood scenes i liked that elphaba had one (1) good thing in her life before shiz)
SHIZ okay shiz honestly shiz was the thing i was most excited for bc c'mon, we don't write about our gothic magic school all the time in fic for nothing. and honestly it was so good. the shots of the whole castle! the library design! the balcony moments and the stairways and just like the layers of architecture and the way morrible could kind of be anywhere at any time. the way it felt so grand and yet so small at the same time. idk man the vibes were good and the set was beautiful
glinda arriving by boat was magical that's all
the way everything dillamond had was tailored to him was fantastic it was so good
actually i want to shout out the library set design again and how it tied into the clockwork theme that never gets fully called out even in the musical but it's still so good
where's my time dragon clock tho
also back up the scene where elphaba loses her temper in the courtyard--when she breaks the relief of the wizard, there's old artwork of Animals behind it and i gasped out loud when i saw it
and that was the first moment i thought 'this is brilliant but i still want an hbo dark fantasy political drama tv show based on the book'
speaking of the dark fantasy political drama tv shows, the Animal meeting!! i'm so glad they put more stuff like that in there
actually as a whole the movie felt more grounded and less comedic than the musical. i think they did a fantastic job of keeping the magic and silliness and charm and wonder of the show while still adding those extra bits of drama and dire circumstances
anyway gelphie fic prank wars trope is officially canon great work everybody handshakes all around. i was cackling (silently. i promise i'm a respectful moviegoer)
the ozdust ballroom being illegal makes so much sense. it being underwater was fucking cool. boq and nessa were actually really great and i usually don't care about them at all during this scene
also i love love love nessa and i cannot wait to see more of her. but showing her multiple times on the sidelines when elphie was being humiliated was such a good choice. the tension between nessa obviously caring for her sister yet always caring for herself more is so delicious and i always want to see it fleshed out more, and i think they did such a good job with her? her and elphaba have sweet moments which i love, and her wanting to be independent and only elphaba really understanding that is so so good. and having her just watching elphaba for so long before finally saying she can't watch. god i can't wait to see her be desperate and selfish and cold in act 2, it's gonna be so good
side note boq also looking upset by elphie being bullied. i miss my brotp man
but let's talk about what's most important: the gelphie dance. because oh my god i started crying all over again. so did elphaba. and glinda wiping her tears i'm dying i've died oh my god
i always get a little bit surprised when glinda seems more head over heels than elphaba. idk why. but ariana's glinda is absolutely more head over heels than cynthia's elphaba and i loved it
(they just. freaking LEFT the party. just zipped out of there as soon as they hugged. glinda was like hmmm i just realized some things and grabbed elphaba's hand and ran off while the night was young. and fiyero stared after them knowing that he stood no chance whatsoever)
also i'm like 72% sure the guys sitting next to me were a couple? and they both cried during the gelphie dance too and it was a very unexpected but very funny moment of solidarity
i say ariana's glinda is more head over heels and i stand by it but elphaba's fond little smile when glinda was pouting about sharing secrets almost made me start sobbing again they're so GOOD they're so CUTE and she is SO heart eyes for glinda immediately!!!
i need to be sedated i swear
popular was adorable 10/10 no notes absolutely nailed it i loved every second
also glinda sitting next to elphaba in class now. my heart <3
after dillamond gets hauled away (again with this being more violent and dark and those moments of drama coming through more in the movie i loveeee) glinda doesn't sit down until elphaba does
also they had several little moments of elphaba looking to glinda and glinda either shaking her head or nodding. they've been friends for 2 days and they're already having silent conversations i love them <3
the poppy spell? was sick as hell????
another seeing of wicked, another complete sense of bafflement as to why fiyero is there
i say this jokingly but the fiyero and elphaba romance really does feel like a product of the early 2000s especially now that it's on screen rather than on stage. idk maybe that's just the lesbian in me talking though
the train design is also sick but we knew that from the trailers
okay look logically yes i knew idina and kristin would have cameos. but i'd been crying on and off and one short day's magic had already taken hold so they caught me completely off guard. it was great
the wizard stuff was really sweet. and while i was hoping for more time put toward shiz and stuff, i do think those moments did a great job of 1) showing how much elphaba just wants to be loved 2) foreshadowing the wizard being her father and 3) laying the groundwork for her briefly considering working with the wizard in act 2, which is a decision that never quiteee feels right in the show
i love that they put more lore into the grimmerie btw. very cool
the hot air balloon was random but fun. i wonder if it'll come up again in act 2
every time. every damn time glinda starts singing in defying gravity i just want someone to end it right there. glinda grabs the broom, it fades to black, and they both lived happily ever after
fuck
defying gravity taking place at sunset because it's at the end of their one short day of happiness
also UM morrible coming up and hugging glinda when she's crying. exquisite emotional manipulation i'm screaming
elphie! seeing! her! inner! child! i loved the baby elphie scenes even though i prefer creepy 'horrors' elphaba always. but seeing her come back was sooooo fucking good
elphaba only ever relying on herself, in the end
glinda's final 'i hope you're happy' took me out, as it always does, as it always should. and reaching out from the balcony? i'm sobbing again
morrible dragging glinda into the darkness while elphaba flies into the sun! someone fucking help me i'm already wrecked by these two
honestly my biggest complaint is that now i have to wait for part two, i want to see the rest nowwwww
#wicked movie#gelphie#gelphie my beloved oh my god#a bunch of my friends saw it and were like 'it's amazing everyone should see it'#and i was like yeah i mean i trust your opinion#but is it 'i was obsessed with this for some of the most important years of my life#and i hold it with such a reverence that borders on possessiveness' good?#but lemme tell you it was pretty damn amazing and everyone should see it#also side note i think nomtw is my new favorite wicked song
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Lucifer: But then again maybe I shouldnāt be too worried, you really let yourself since Eden.
*when Lucifer looked back at Adam the look on his masked face made him instantly regret those words, Adam looked like he was about to cry, Lucifer thought he shouldnāt regret those words after what Adam did to Lilith, but he could tell Adam was heartbroken*
Charlie: Dad that was very cruel, apologize to Adam.
Adam: At least someone in the Morningstar family is kind.
*Alastor who could be a gentleman even if he was a serial killer cannibal when he was alive walked over to Adam*
Alastor: Adam, a commercial for the hotel is about to come on, why donāt you relax take off your helmet and watch it with us.
*for some reason Lucifer hated seeing Alastor being so charming Adam burn with jealously, to everyoneās surprise Adam actually removed his helmet, in spite of the fact that his skin was paler, he had dark circles under his eyes, and he had a soul patch, he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen*
Charlie: You look really nice Adam, I think you look quite attractive.
*Adam smiled a little*
Adam: Thank you.
Angel Dust: Who knew the father of humanity was such a daddy.
*Adam got a light gold blush across his cheeks, Adam felt someone tug on his robes, he looked down and saw Niffty*
Niffty: You are such a handsome bad boy, can I sit on your lap while we watch the commercial?
Adam: Ok.
*when Adam sat down Niffty crawled into his lap looking so content, Charlie sat by Adam and Alastor sat on the other side of Adam, Charlie turned on the TV, unlike the last time the commercial ran uninterrupted, Charlie was so proud of everyone*
Adam: That is a really good commercial, but I also think the best way to impress Heaven is to actually find a way to redeem a soul.
Charlie: I would actually like some advice.
*Adam actually started to give some advice and Lucifer just watched as Adam placed his hand on Nifftyās back while she sat in his lap, part of him wanted to push the little Sinner out of his lap and sit there, but he had to restrain himself, a little while later Charlie and Alastor led Adam a room he could stay in, once alone Adam pulled off his robe and he clutched his stomach that was covered by the black skin tight body suit, when he looked in the mirror Adam burst into tears, Lilith was right, he was fat and ugly, not realizing that both Lucifer and Lilith had to admit he was quite attractive, sobs shook his body making him hate what he saw more, he tried to gain some composure when he heard a knock at the door, he opened it and saw Charlie*
Charlie: Oh Adam I am so sorry about what dad said.
*Charlie led Adam to the bed, they sat there while Charlie held him as he placed his head on her shoulder and more tears fell*
Adam internally: You should have been my daughter with Luci. I should have been your mother.
Charlie: I forgot I dragged you here and you couldnāt bring some clothes to wear, I was thinking of going shopping. We can pick out some nice clothes for you, my treat.
*Charlie was hoping her dad could see how attractive Adam truly was and maybe thing long gone could be reignited*
Adam: That sounds nice.
@things-arent-what-they-seem66
(Adam really needs a hug after that)
(Matchmaker Charlie AU)
*Charlie woke up confused, instead of in her bed with Vaggie, she was laying on the softest grass she felt, it even put her bed to shame when it came to softness*
?: Are you alright? Are you an angel, you must be a new one since I havenāt met you before, but you look like an angel.
*Charlie sat up and was in awe of the beauty around her, also the voice she heard sounded familiar to her, she looked up and saw a man sitting on a tree branch, the only word she could use to describe this man was beautiful, he had lightly tanned skin, short hair the color of milk chocolate, and brown eyes with a hint of honey gold to them, the most shocking was that this man was very much naked, in fact he had no shame in showing off his dick that would be quite impressive though Charlie hadnāt seen many dicks to compare*
Charlie: Wait, who are you?
*the man giggled cutely*
?: Donāt you know who I am, I am Adam the first human man.
*Charlie then remembered the same voice sounding more arrogant saying āDo you know who I am, Iām fucking Adamā but this was nothing like the man she met at Heavenās Embassy, in fact he wasnāt even like the man that was described in the book her mom wrote about the origins of Hell, Adam jumped down from the tree looking her over in a very innocent manner*
Adam: You look like an Archangel Luci.
Charlie: Luci?
Adam: Luci is the best, in fact he should be here soon. I can take you to meet him. I forgot to ask what your name is.
Charlie: My name is Charlie, itās nice to meet you Adam.
*she held her hand out to Adam and he shook with such a friendly smile, Charlie wondered when Adam would start acting like how her mother had described her, he took her hand and they walked through what Charlie realized was Eden, there was actually something endearing about Adam, just then they stopped at a pond with the cutest little ducks she had ever seen, she knew that her father probably would have loved a place like this, Adam then got a smile as he looked up*
Adam: Luci!!!!
*Charlie looked up and gasped, it was her father, Lucifer Morningstar when he was an angel of Heaven, she looked over at Adam and realization hit her*
Charlie internally: Adam was in love with my dad.
She watched as Adam ran over to her father Luicfer and they hugged each other, Lucifer even spun him around a little bit.
Lucifer: Addie! It's so good to see you dove.
Charlie was so shocked by the affectionate nickname and how Adam flushed pink. They looked at each other like they were the most perfect beings in the universe.
Adam: Oh, you just have to meet the new angel her name is Charlie!
Lucifer looked puzzled, new angel? Surely he would have heard if his father made a new angel. He looked over to her and was shocked, this girl was very pretty but she didn't look angelic. She actually looked like a female version of himself with red and yellow eyes.
How odd.
Lucifer smiled and held out his hand: Nice to meet you Charlie.
Charlie shook his hand: Hi da-.... Lucifer. It's nice to meet you.
Adam ran over and picked up a duckling and held it up for both Lucifer and Charlie, his smile wide and innocent.
Adam: Look! They just had babies, aren't they just the sweetest?
Lucifer: Yes! Do you remember your purpose Adam? To eventually have babies of your own?
Adam nodded, his smile was shy and Charlie didn't miss the way his hand went to his belly as if he were the one that wanted to carry the baby.
Adam knew he had to have kids at some point but he wanted them with Lucifer so badly, he didn't think Lilith liked him very much and he didn't know why.
Charlie could see the shy looks they were giving each other. Did her dad.... Love Adam back?
#hazbin hotel#adam#hazbin hotel adam#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel lucifer#adamsapple#guitarduck#adam/lucifer#minors dni
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Something something the total solar eclipse and the coming of Arthur
#merlin#merthur#solar eclipse and my first thought it how can I merlinify this#I watched it on TV and it was so beautiful actually#I feel like Arthurās coming has to be dramatic or extremely mundane#no inbetween#itās either the solar eclipse#or he just walks out soaked from the lake on a random Tuesday#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin fanart#merthur fanart#solar eclipse#doodle before bed because I need them out of my head
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āthere is still timeā
so i finally watched i saw the tv glow
the last panel is the only panel with an actual quote from the movie in this, and a very impactful one at that, please watch it if you can it is phenomenal!!!
#inanimate insanity#ii knife#knife ii#knife inanimate insanity#ii pickle#pickle ii#pickle inanimate insanity#knickle#ii knickle#knickle ii#knickle inanimate insanity#my art#i think this is the most vulnerable piece of art iāve ever posted actually#i was half debating just not posting this but this movie meant so much to me#i saw the tv glow is such a beautiful experience#please go watch it if you have a chance because itās such an impactful movie#this and ii 16 was a killer combo by the way#just wow
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you know what? at least he got his wedding. i guess ,
#liz blogs#knight rider#knight rider spoilers#kr#knight rider liveblog#stevie makes me so fucking sad you dont understand. you dont understand. oh my god.#''at least i could always run into you at the supermarket'' ''thats how i do it too'' yeah. yeah. about that. uh. um. not. anymoRE#oh my god. at least they finally got their wedding. oh m y fucking god. it was beautiful for all of 8 minutes#this episode really smacks you with horrible grief over michaels two best relationships. its not bad enough about stevie#but then kitt rushes to his side after he gets shot. protects him. calls the ambulance. follows behind it the whole way there and looks#after him. god. tapped into the camera in his room and saves his fucking life. SITTING IN THE PARKING LOT FOR WEEKS#AND MICHAEL GETES OUT AND GOES 'YEAH ANYWAY IM LEAVING THE FOUNDATION' BITCH ??????? BITCH ??????????????#WHAT HAPPENS TO KITT THEN 8( YOU CANT JUST LEAVE HIM BEHIND HE'S YOUR FUCKING BUDDY !!!!!!!! HES YOUR PAL#OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO CRY FOR LIKE THE 8TH TIME#BUILD ANOTHER CAR. PROGRAM ANOTHER AI. THIS ONE IS MICHAELS HE SHOULD GET TO KEEP HIM FOREVER#IM GOING TO CRY MY FUCKING EYES OUT OH MY G O D#i was right to be upset and nervous for this episode. i was right. i was right. oh . my god.#knight rider is ruining my life actually. jesus christ. i thought michael was actually going to Kill for the first time. oh my god.#im so upset. about the tv show. im so upset im in grief im going to cry#Again.#she threw himself in front of him. she threw -#''haha funy show about a guy and his car'' -- five months later i am never recovering. i am never recovering from my decision to watch kr#jesus. FUCKING christ oh my GOD
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ms paint (scrapped)
3/26/2019
#astros old art#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#ml tikki#I remember seeing this one video called ladybug pv back in like 2012 and me being a huge fan of magical girl anime I wanted to see more#so imagine my surprise when I found out they were making it into an actual tv show lmao#when the final version came out I was a teeny bit disappointed it was in 3d and not in beautiful 2d like that vid from all those years ago#found out a few friends were also fans so I kept watching with them tho i eventually dropped the show somewhere around the 3rd season#ehh idk I kinda wish they stuck to the 2d art style and some of the stuff like the characters are kinda...yeah...but it is what it is lol#heard the movie was alright tho and nicely animated so I might eventually get around to watching that ^^
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no because when i was watching the clips of my school president prom night on stage day 1 without subs, the group performance that was most fun to watch was Stand By Lor right? such great dance moves, very groovy, very traditional vibes in places (aka satang & ford's vocals).
BUT THEN I SAW THE SUBTITLED VERSION OF THAT PERFORMANCE I AM LOOSING MY MIND OMG do yourself a favor and watch this
#my school president#vi.txt#like yes i got that it was a flirty song BUT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH#also mark my husband also has such a nice voice!!!1#i am so in love with this#forever mad abut the fact that i don't work in a domain where i get to be a part of production of events/shows like these#insert: but poetry beauty romance love these are what we stay alive for#y'all have no idea how much i actually love music like i might not know theory but i am actively listening to music almost all the time#i watch concert video on repeat just sit in front of the tv and pretend im there#and try to attend as many live concerts as possible even if they're just cover artists#anyways im gonna go listen to this on loop#favourite music genre: comedy
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just watched i saw the tv glow
what the fuck and also i am now 100000% happier to be queer
#isttvg#i saw the tv glow#isttg#jane schoenbrun#there is still time#i saw the tv glow spoilers#the pink opaque#that was probably the most beautiful thing i have ever watched#i didnt skip a single part of it#usually i get impatient with slow scenes#but god .#this was so enjoyable to watch i actually cannot express it
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your top 15 favourite tv shows can say a lot about your personality
Tagged by @kuhakukage
Let's go besties :
1. Courage the Cowardly Dog
2. Danny Phantom
3. Teen Titans
4. Teen Wolf
5. Inuyasha
7. Tokyo Ghoul
8. Shen He Ling/Word of Honor
9. Australia's next top model
10. Brooklyn 99
11. How to get away with murder
No tags all the besties can come list their favourite shows so i can get some good tv show recs thank yew.
#bear with me it'll take me some more years to reach 15 tv shows probably#cz im a hater i like watching shows just to analyze and criticise the hell out of them until they disintegrate inside my brain#so u can imagine the kind of stress i am under when i try to list shows I like when i cant even remember what i watched#these are the shows that I'd actually rewatch#i don't usually like to rewatch stuff because i feel like my head will explode if im not seeing new things#ok but now that i think about it what DOES it say about my personality#only 2 of the shows on this list are from my adult life lmao#fried braincell things#for HTGAWM i love Annalise Keating. viola Davis is IT she's the icon she IS the moment i love her.#amd also my girl Michaela pratt got me through college i am her she is me (academically)#b99 is beautiful perfect amazing i love it#on that note Andre braugher we miss you thank you for all that you did#i also love Gina and was annoyed asf when she was taken out of the show#currently im watching the vampire diaries and shit is not hitting im gonna be honest#I'm currently watching 3 series and reading 2 books at once so u can imagine why my brain is fried
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suddenly overwhelmed with longing for kazui mukuhara
#kazuiloveposting#I NEED TO BE DOMESTIC WITH HIM SO BAD ARGJHHHHHHHHH#i wanna get home from work and he's sitting there on the sofa and he looks so beautiful and he smiles at me witha loving look#hes got casual clothes on and hes so gorgeous and divine and i feel so relieved as i look at him. like i wasnt truly home until i saw him#i wanna cuddle and watch tv and talk about my day and eat bad takeout because we didnt wash the dishes#uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#BUT NO. hes in stupid jail and im in the stupid 3D world. fuck#i want him so bad. just like to have. and to hold. i want him in my life#SIGHHH one day I'll have an actual bf... i can't imagine they'll ever come close to kaz but oh well... gotta keep on hoping šŖšŖ
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Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good luck.
DOCTOR WHO 3.10 | Blink
#doctor who#dw gifs#doctor who gifs#doctor who blink#Sally Shipton: the ship that never sailed#I was watching the time of angels/flesh and stone the other day and it made me so fucking angry because they did the angels so fucking dirt#and like okay they're alright episodes but the one thing that really pisses me off is the way they show the angels moving#like...the beauty of Blink is that you never see the angels moving you just see that they have moved#and that means that as the viewer you also feel responsible for not blinking - it doesn't move when you're watching the screen#and it really brings you into the episode - it makes it feel so much more real#to the point where it terrified me as a kid - I'd spend the whole episode with my eyes wide open because I was terrified that if I blinked#the angels would win#and because I didn't blink they didn't win#and then we have flesh and stone and we see the angels move and it just...ugh it takes you out of it. Like. There are so many ways they#could have done it without showing the angels move - just focus on amy's face and have the grinding sounds of stone would be the easiest#but they showed the angels moving and I hate it I hate it I hate it#as context Blink and Smith and Jones were the only episodes of Doctor Who we had on DVD as a kid because they were given out with the Radio#Times or the Daily Mail or something back in the day when they'd send TV episodes out with the news papers#and I remember going to the news agent's after church on the weeks those were available and buying the news paper that week#little seven year old me unable to actually see over the counter#I can't remember why I didn't get the rest but I got those two#and because they were the only ones I had and this was in the days before iplayer (it was launched December 2007) and then because I didn't#have access to a computer to watch stuff online#I just watched those two episodes on repeat#and so they became my favourite episodes by default#but also Blink stands up to the test of time#life is short and you are hot#every single line is a banger and sally sparrow and billy shipton is the greatest ship that never shipped in the world fight me#my gifs
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my favourite side episode that ive been planning for 5ever is the team gets invited to a fancy ball and aja gets a handmade gown for it and feels really Normal about all this
#theres more to it but thats the relevant part#basically this is a s2 episode so after shes died and come back and hutch is really insistent that aja has to put effort into making friends#outside of them. because they know she doesnt really have anyone else. and they really only made it through losing her because they had#people in their corner to help and be supportive. and she doesnt because she doesnt. like people or want anyone else#so they get these invites to this gala and hutch is like nah i dont wanna go. find someone to give my ticket to and have a good time#basically forcing her to go without her safety blanket yk#and she doesnt know who to ask and the whole episode is over the prep week for this while shes getting measured for the dress and#its getting made and fitted and whatever. and the costume girl whos been a side character the whole time but aj has never really paid much#attention to is SO excited to make this fancy dress and will hold aj in there for hours just to make sure its perfect#and at some point after a convo with hutch aj realizes she doesnt. listen when other people speak to her. and actually sits down to listen#to what seffie has to say and actually talk to her. and she talks about growing up watching princesses and celebrities on tv and being poor#and wanting more than anything to look like a princess on a red carpet like that and then does some like haha well at least i get to do my#job! and youll look beautiful! and aj is like. well actually. i have a ticket.#and thats the episode its mostly just about aja learning that other people DO understand her and she CAN relate to them#things she has convinced herself are impossible#and then it has the bonus of these two girls who never get to feel beautiful get to play dressup and go to a fancy party and enjoy each#others company. its kind of a filler episode but i love it#š
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It's not his birthday but it's almost his birthday!!!!!
#happy almost-birthday to my best fren paulie :)#i spent half an hour downloading this vid only for it to not download with audio for no reason#so i had to download the audio seperately and sync this up#and i spilled my drink on my bedsheets in amongst this lmao#help#anyway he's so beautiful#actually i bought the dvd of this concert and it arrived today so gonna watch it tomorrow for his birthday ^u^#and the concert at central park too probably#and one trick pony mayhaps although i dont have that on dvd yet so i wont be able to watch it on the big tv#i can watch still watch it on my lil VHS tv tho :)#my cube tv#i had to fucking run to make this joke before it's actually his birthday lmao#eeeeeee love him always#paul simon#paul simon 80s#one trick pony#simon and garfunkel#simon & garfunkel#s&g#s&g memes#sorta#<3
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Time for Camp Half-Blood!!!!!
Gonna watch the 2 episodes with mom and convert her into being PJO trash right alongside me!
#admittedly Ive already seen the 2 episodes and I LOVED THEM!!!#the book accuracy is beautiful#but I watched it by myself so that I wouldn't give anything away when I watched with mom#we love watching Harry Potter together so I'm hoping Percy Jackson will be the next big thing we binge and obsess over#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#percy jackson tv show#camp half blood#also fun fact. but I actually dressed up as a demigod for Halloween this year#i work at a bookstore so I thought it was fitting#also you guys like the bookmark I made? I'm so proud of the background
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.
#2 whole weeks sobeR letās talk abt it#this the longest Iāve gone without a crumb of weed in my system in 5 yrs and the second longest in 8 yrs#For a long long time I thought I was self medicating the adhd but turns out I was making it Significantly worse#I have an attention span now I can watch tv without scrolling on my phone or playing w fidget toys#My apartment has stayed perfectly clean for the past 2 wks#havenāt rly struggled with eating or sleeping routines are v important wit it tho#been relying heavily on safe foods Iāve eaten the same exact thing every day for 2 weeks but itās fine#ashwagandha helps me not wanna peel my skin off in rage#time moves INSANELY slower when ur not h*gh every waking second of the day these have been the Longest 2 wks of my life#but also I have So Much more time to do things and SO much more energy to do the things#I thought being anxious and exhausted was just my constant state of being but turns out that was Also just the weed#The insane nightmares have been The hardest part but most of the time my dreams are just weird#Feeling emotions is weird Iāve cried more in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 2 years#I cry about good things I cry about beautiful things art as a whole is just so moving#self regulating after stressful things like work or staying with my parents is definitely New as w as decompressing after socializing w ppl#I do things like paint and journal and make silly little bracelets now#Idk man it just hasnāt been as hard as I thought it would be#A few months ago me and ******** were talking about how weād actually k word ourselves without it#turns out the jazz cabb was making my depression and anxiety so much worse than it actually is#shits literally fine#Anyways donāt let ppl tell u u canāt develop an unhealthy relationship w weed I was h*gh every waking second of my day for 5 yrs#Last time I tried this I immediately became an alcoholic instead this time I donāt even feel the desire to have a single little drink#Overall I have A Lot more self control in every single area of my life#I donāt waste my money on dumb shit I can eat normal amount of food like a normal person#The thought of buying my favorite cookies and only having like Two of them used to be such an unreasonable concept to my little brain#I donāt know if this is gonna be a permanent thing I definitely know I canāt do it habitually#just like I learned I can be normal about alcohol if I donāt keep it in my house and only do it when socializing for special occasions#anyways if ur thinking about taking a break from ur favorite substance maybe give it a try#thx for coming 2 my ted talk if u read the whole thing I luv u take care of urself
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it's coming up on that time of year where I rewatch Samurai Jack in its entirety...
#I'm excited but also...#idk I feel like when I get to s5 it's gonna break me#Jack has been my guide my comfort my muse for YEARS#plus the art is just so. fucking. good.#but mannnn when he's down bad it makes my brain so sad š#and I know when I see him feelin defeated I'm gonna draw parallels to my own life#and I...whewwww am I ready for that??? idk#I usually start watching in October and finish around December#I am a slow tv watcher and I find it actually v difficult to marathon shows š#my brain needs breaks and my heart needs breaks and it's like#??? ok all movies are like 4 hours long now but they used to be 1.5 and that was perfect!#but my cousin will marathon a show that's 12 episodes each 25 minutes or even shows that have HOUR LONG EPS#and idk how she does it#but um yeah#another chii fun fact I guess#samurai jack is one of my favorite pieces of media of all time it's nostalgic and inspiring and so very beautiful#chii talks atchu ā¢.ā¢#samurai jack#for a while I even contemplated getting a tattoo based on the show like oooooo I'm glad I didn't but I was CLOSE#I know a girl who got one of Aku and it looks fuckn SICK#ok bye I have to work now :-((
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